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Friday 20 April 2012

Meeting The Suds

Sushil and Padma Sud (my wonderful father and mother in-law)
It was decided that we go to Delhi in October 82 since the engagement date was set for the 29th of the month.
I went through euphoric highs and tumultuous lows. At times I thought the most wonderful future lay ahead of me and at others I was convinced I was making the biggest mistake of my life. I  had no doubt that Sud was a good man whom I loved passionately, but thoughts of life as an air force wife gave me sleepless nights. The constant entertaining, the learning to behave in front of seniors, the uprooting of family every few years - all gave me reason for nail chewing  and wondering whether I could make a success of this phase of my life.
 My mother sensing I was worried, kept badgering me to learn the basics of cooking, which I flatly refused to do since I was firmly convinced that the kitchen would be where I would be spending most of my time once I was married.  At that point I did not even know how to boil an egg, let alone the art of manufacturing 'daal subji'!
We arrived in Delhi a week prior to the engagement date and the first thing on our agenda was the big meeting with Sud's family. I was stressed and nervous when he came to pick us up, and being told that I would have to touch his 'daadi's' feet did nothing to ease the hollow sensation in the pit of my stomach. I enquired if his parents were very traditional and when Sud answered in the affirmative I sunk into dismal silence in the back seat of the car.

Daadi
My throat was dry with tension as we drove up to the Malviya Nagar flat. His parents, elder brother Sunil and sister-in-law Anupam greeted me warmly enough, and when I saw 'daadi' emerge I dutifully dove for her toes, only to be hugged by her and told it was nice but not at all necessary. I glared at Sud who was trying hard to stifle his giggles but I was not at all amused!
I sat primly while we spent the evening in polite 'getting to know each other' conversation. The first impression I had was of a genteel and loving family from whom I had nothing to fear. I must say that I did light up a cigarette and have a drink because I wanted them to accept me for what I was. I always hated the idea of smoking in bathrooms and behind closed doors 'out of respect'. I puffed away in front of my own parents and there was no one in the world I looked up to more.
This was the beginning of many years of a gracious and affectionate relationship with Sud's family. This blog will not have any evil mother-in-law sagas because mine was the epitome of sweetness. My father-in-law was a kind and caring individual who I came to hold in high regard. Old 'daadi' was full of fun and ever ready for a bit of gossip or a movie on TV, and in no way were any of them even close to being authoritative or orthodox. That was just Sud's idea of pulling my leg when he saw me in such a tither before meeting them!
My father was against the idea of a big fat Indian wedding, but we had told him to shush since I was marrying into a good Punjabi family and it was expected that we do what they wanted. I got the shock of my life when Sud very hesitatingly asked if I would be OK with a court marriage followed by a reception since he felt exactly the same way. That is one of the first times I actually looked at my husband-to-be in total admiration and thought "Hmmmm, maybe I have actually found a man who might understand my complex personality"

2 comments:

  1. I never knew Sandeep to be such a devil! Ha ha! What a lovely episode!

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  2. anna-réka: :)) loved this one:)

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