|Me and my sister Juliet with Deepak (RM's old family friend).|
Once I had settled in, RM's behaviour began to change. He became extremely possessive, moody and unpredictable. The first time he hit me over an imagined suspicion I was too shocked to react. The next time he lashed out, I hit him back and threatened to leave if he ever raised his hand again. He begged forgiveness and blubbered that he did not know what came over him, and I struggled to understand. This pattern began to repeat itself again and again...the violence followed by weeping and crying for pardon, and me always relenting because I sincerely believed that he would change, or that I could change him if I stayed.
They never forbade the relationship or asked me to come home - they believed I had to make my own choices and bear the consequences.The hardest thing for them was to see me in pain, and it took a Herculean effort to stand by and watch and wait, until hopefully better sense prevailed. I asked my father much later on why he did not command me to end the relationship. He said in the state of mind I was in I would only have resented him for interfering and would have done exactly what I wanted. He claimed it was only when self realisation dawned could one do the sensible thing, however difficult that might be.
The positive that came out of this episode was my meeting Deepak Edwards, who was an old family friend of RM's. Our lives intertwined in strange and mysterious ways, so maybe it was this friendship and what came out of it, that was the reason I had to go through what I did. Today Deepak is a kind and loving father-in-law to my daughter!